Sports Day doesn't have to be sexist

Controversial but true!

Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash

We don’t have sports day in Spain, so I am guessing that in other countries they might not either. If you are reading this from somewhere outside the UK let me just briefly explain that is a school activity in which all the kids compete in some races and parents cheer enthusiastically. Sometimes parents are invited to participate as well. Princess Diana raced and won, without shoes apparently that is important general culture. Sports days is one of those things very ingrained in the society, like sending cards for everything. I don’t pretend to understand it but I respect it.

The first time I went to a sport days event I realised, with horror, that they split the kids in boys and girls. From their first year in primary (the youngest kid in the race can be as small as 4 years old) they are separated making a clear point that girls and boys sports skills are so very different that they need different categories. Different species of humans one could say.

The differences in physical development in primary are very small, non existent. This awesome report by premier education explains it well and The Women’s Sport Foundation found that “Prior to puberty, there is no gender-based physiological reason to separate females and males in sports competition.” Ultimately physiological reasoning holds little weight in the argument against primary-aged children competing in sport. (In secondary school, particularly in non-contact sports, there is still little reason to separate based on gender).

And look, call me crazy, but also… even if the differences were somehow bigger, how big would they need to be to justify the damage in terms of stereotyping? We are talking about sports days in primary schools, there is no scholarship for university, or sponsors throwing life changing deals. Literally this is about children walking fast with a spoon and an egg!

The only differences that we can find in terms of execution of sport can all be explained by the different way to socialise our children. In the non verbal messages that we send through over and over:

• Toys: Who gets gifted balls, and rackets, and toys that encourage movement?

• Role models: When families watch sport on tv, who are they watching? Who tends to practice more sports in their houses (from past conditioning).

• language: Run like a girl can’t ever be an insult

• Clothes: Are we dressing girls in ways that limit their movement? (mental note to write about the sexualisation of sport clothing in women, remind me if I don’t!).

• Books and Media: How are we maintaining stereotypes about women not liking sports as much, not being as good, or only liking certain things?

By the time they arrive to primary a larger percentage of boys have the official t-shirt of “their” team and know the name of some footballer players. They are using larger spaces in the school grounds to play “their thing” and the lionesses themselves reported that even them were “often stopped from playing (football) growing up”. We look around and think that it is all natural, must be when it happens in every school.

But not all the boys are like those boys. There are boys in every class who have no interest for sport and maybe they are not particularly skilled at it either. The same way that you have, in every class, naturally sporty, fast and strong girls (I saw a girl in Eric’s class doing monkey bars in the play park like soldiers in American army films).

The reinforcement that they are different, their interests are different, their skills etc is much more damaging than not winning a race. Specially as it doesn’t happen in a vacuum, in utopic schools free of gender stereotypes. Kids in schools receive so much conditioning about their differences and are constantly split and reminded that there are 2 boxes.

It is very common in schools to say things like “our boys and girls have worked really hard this year”, when the word children is available and ready to use, making everyone welcome (boys, girls and others). Why not encourage the use of a category that unites them, instead of separating them. Being a non-binary kid (or the child of a non -binary parent) in this education system might break the strongest of them. Any spectrum is erased. Stay in you box.

“How do you want us to split the groups?” I imagine school principals screaming in the other side of the computer, baffled at the idea that any other possibility would be ok. Well, what about by age? Separate them by the months they were born in! Objective, more fair than gender and easy to defend in front of the (no doubt) questions that you will get from some parents. A kid born in June competing with someone born 11 months before (a 20% of their life spam), even if they have the same genitalia, feels more unfair. Or get them to run and then split them by speed. I would even find it better to do it by height. Or those that prefer pizza vs ice cream. Or getting them to choose a folded paper in a bag and get it done arbitrary. Literally anything other than separating them using protected categories.

Sometimes we need to be brave. We need to look at the data, to look at the impact and to choose to do better now that we know better. That is the role of a leader, to lead the way forward, equipped with updated knowledge and a vision of equality. This is not about having to know everything, but about responding and committing to do better in the never ending job of learning. That is what we should ask and want from those making decisions in the education of our kids. Something we should demand for us as parents, their teachers, the principals, the board of governors, the education minister etc…

Yes, we have always done it like that, yes, sometimes change can feel scary. But for fuck sake, how are we going to tackle more scary inequality in life, in work, in sports, in relationships or in education (to mention some) if we are too chicken to address a small tweak on sports days?

QUESTION: How do they do it in your school? how do you feel about it?

Thanks for being here! to hold my rage and WTF that the world weekly offers me. Thanks for giving me a perfect space to use those feelings and try my best to articulate them into something that you too can use. Make sure you don’t miss any of my posts!